I asked a question about my 2 female cats hissing at the male (yes! they r all fixed) and when it will stop! Many of you were kind enough to give me very valuable answers. Now that my male cat has returned (for less than a week now) the hissing has not been as frequent. HOWEVER, the problem I am having now is that my sweet angel female cat is ignoring me, running away from me and wont come to me when I call her. I have to go find her and pick her up and pet her. She no longer purrs when I pet her. She was always my special lap cat and would always seek me out to sit on my lap, sleep with me or seemingly always need/want to be near me.
The story is this: I rescued a mother manx cat when she placed her five kittens on my patio three years ago. I adopted her (she was feral) and two of her babies. Just as soon as it was safe for them I had them all fixed (neutered/spayed). The Mommie kitty was feral and it took me two years to get her fully domesticated...although there are still times when she acts out if she doesnt get her way. I say she was feral but I may not be using the term: Feral in the most appropriate way. She may have been living with a family, and if so, I suspect they did not treat her well. She was reintroduced to the wild and when I found her she was very anti-social. As of now, however, the mommie cat is a sweet girl and only acts out if she doesnt get her way (like wanting to go outside -- I have them all as inside cats now)
Just as soon as the kittens were old enough, I had the boy neutered and the girl spayed and while I was at it I had mommie spayed, too. Their names are Chief (boy) and ChaCha (girl) and their mother is Mommie. I have had them with me now for three years and have absolutely fallen in love with all of them.
Chief, however, slipped outside one night when I opened the door to go outside briefly. It was a ten day nightmare I never want to go through again. He was gone for TEN DAYS AND NIGHTS. It was aweful. Finally, he returned although I looked high and low for him nonstop. I was a wreck. I placed neon red signs all over the neighborhood and just when I was trying to talk myself into dealing with the loss of him he MEOWED really loud on my patio and we were reunited...and it was bliss!
Then, that same night, Mommie and ChaCha started hissing at him. I didnt know to "reintroduce" him to the group (pride) as I thought they would be just as happy to see him as I was. Instead, they have shunned him, hissed at him and otherwise acted terrible to him. What I didnt realize was that he must be secreting some kind of different scent and perhaps the cats do not recognize him. DO THEY REALLY NOT EVEN RECOGNIZE HIM??????
Many of the answers I received from this forum were very helpful and I am very grateful for those of you who are seemingly experts in this field and have given me answers.
Well, the hissing has almost stopped...but not completely. Now, my sweet angel ChaCha kitty is throwing me attitude in this fashion: She will not come to me when I call her. She runs from me when I get close to her. Yes, she is eating and drinking and seems healthy. She just seems really mad at me....now, her gentle sweet personality is not one to HISS AT ME, oh no...but she acts like she wants nothing to do with me. If I reach for her she runs away. When I do pick her up (and I have to get her from behind the couch or something like that) she barely tolerates me petting her and loving on her. Just as soon as she can escape from my lap she does. Tonite, for example, I had to contort myself in a twistie way to get her from out from under the couch. I sat her on my lap and pet her and uttered sweet nothings and such. Usually she craves my petting and lovie dovie stuff. Later, then, she allowed herself to stand next to me...but to be sure...just out of arms length. In an hour or so after that, she sat in the same room as me....again at a sufficient arms length...near the window. I walked over to her and pet her head and she allowed it.
What on earth do you think is going on here? Is she mad at me? Her little human-like personality is seemingly punishing me -- ha ha -- emotional blackmail!
Am I showing the returned cat (her brother) *more* attention than she would like? He *is* much more affectionate now that he has returned. Poor baby! I'm sure he was traumatized while he was lost for 10 days.
Somehow, I have to give all my cats ample attention...and they all need to realize that I love them all. Yes, ChaCha is extremely special to me. I had no idea how much I loved Chief until he was gone for 10 days....and I never want to go through that type of hell again! ha ha. It was BAD!!! I was extremely depressed.
So, yes...as you can tell, I am extremely attached and adore these rescue cats I have. Some of you are seemingly experts in this field -- and I would appreciate guidance if you have it.
For those of you that want to
The story is this: I rescued a mother manx cat when she placed her five kittens on my patio three years ago. I adopted her (she was feral) and two of her babies. Just as soon as it was safe for them I had them all fixed (neutered/spayed). The Mommie kitty was feral and it took me two years to get her fully domesticated...although there are still times when she acts out if she doesnt get her way. I say she was feral but I may not be using the term: Feral in the most appropriate way. She may have been living with a family, and if so, I suspect they did not treat her well. She was reintroduced to the wild and when I found her she was very anti-social. As of now, however, the mommie cat is a sweet girl and only acts out if she doesnt get her way (like wanting to go outside -- I have them all as inside cats now)
Just as soon as the kittens were old enough, I had the boy neutered and the girl spayed and while I was at it I had mommie spayed, too. Their names are Chief (boy) and ChaCha (girl) and their mother is Mommie. I have had them with me now for three years and have absolutely fallen in love with all of them.
Chief, however, slipped outside one night when I opened the door to go outside briefly. It was a ten day nightmare I never want to go through again. He was gone for TEN DAYS AND NIGHTS. It was aweful. Finally, he returned although I looked high and low for him nonstop. I was a wreck. I placed neon red signs all over the neighborhood and just when I was trying to talk myself into dealing with the loss of him he MEOWED really loud on my patio and we were reunited...and it was bliss!
Then, that same night, Mommie and ChaCha started hissing at him. I didnt know to "reintroduce" him to the group (pride) as I thought they would be just as happy to see him as I was. Instead, they have shunned him, hissed at him and otherwise acted terrible to him. What I didnt realize was that he must be secreting some kind of different scent and perhaps the cats do not recognize him. DO THEY REALLY NOT EVEN RECOGNIZE HIM??????
Many of the answers I received from this forum were very helpful and I am very grateful for those of you who are seemingly experts in this field and have given me answers.
Well, the hissing has almost stopped...but not completely. Now, my sweet angel ChaCha kitty is throwing me attitude in this fashion: She will not come to me when I call her. She runs from me when I get close to her. Yes, she is eating and drinking and seems healthy. She just seems really mad at me....now, her gentle sweet personality is not one to HISS AT ME, oh no...but she acts like she wants nothing to do with me. If I reach for her she runs away. When I do pick her up (and I have to get her from behind the couch or something like that) she barely tolerates me petting her and loving on her. Just as soon as she can escape from my lap she does. Tonite, for example, I had to contort myself in a twistie way to get her from out from under the couch. I sat her on my lap and pet her and uttered sweet nothings and such. Usually she craves my petting and lovie dovie stuff. Later, then, she allowed herself to stand next to me...but to be sure...just out of arms length. In an hour or so after that, she sat in the same room as me....again at a sufficient arms length...near the window. I walked over to her and pet her head and she allowed it.
What on earth do you think is going on here? Is she mad at me? Her little human-like personality is seemingly punishing me -- ha ha -- emotional blackmail!
Am I showing the returned cat (her brother) *more* attention than she would like? He *is* much more affectionate now that he has returned. Poor baby! I'm sure he was traumatized while he was lost for 10 days.
Somehow, I have to give all my cats ample attention...and they all need to realize that I love them all. Yes, ChaCha is extremely special to me. I had no idea how much I loved Chief until he was gone for 10 days....and I never want to go through that type of hell again! ha ha. It was BAD!!! I was extremely depressed.
So, yes...as you can tell, I am extremely attached and adore these rescue cats I have. Some of you are seemingly experts in this field -- and I would appreciate guidance if you have it.
For those of you that want to
dunno
Change the way u call her name(softer).Get a treat then call her name.i hope this helps.
Long story!!!!!! My advice would be to leave her alone. Somehow she has become unhappy about her brother taking off and then coming back - you are absolutely right when you say that they no longer recognised him because he would have smelt differently. You have spent a week focusing on him and now you will also smell differently from what she is used to.
Also, you are insisting on trying to regain her affection but, in doing so, you are actually pushing her the other way. The very best way to get a cat to come to you is to leave it alone. Each time you step towards her she thinks you are going to pick her up and hold her and she does not want it at the moment.
When you are close to her, instead of trying to pick her up and cuddle her, just throw down something tasty for her to eat like small pieces of chicken, then just walk away. She needs to know that being close to you means getting something nice, rather than being grabbed and held on to! Just leave her to her own devices for a few more days. The fact that they are hissing less at the male cat is a good sign. Hopefully things will return to normal soon.
If you really must pick her up for any reason then, if you have been handling the other cat, I would suggest washing your hands first and (this is what we do at our animal welfare centre when we have cats who dont like other cats) keep a dressing gown handy which you can pop on over your clothes so that you don't smell so much of the male cat.
I would also suggest getting some Feliway Artificial Pheromone Diffusers which you should plug in around your house as these will calm and reassure all the cats.
Good luck.
Also, you are insisting on trying to regain her affection but, in doing so, you are actually pushing her the other way. The very best way to get a cat to come to you is to leave it alone. Each time you step towards her she thinks you are going to pick her up and hold her and she does not want it at the moment.
When you are close to her, instead of trying to pick her up and cuddle her, just throw down something tasty for her to eat like small pieces of chicken, then just walk away. She needs to know that being close to you means getting something nice, rather than being grabbed and held on to! Just leave her to her own devices for a few more days. The fact that they are hissing less at the male cat is a good sign. Hopefully things will return to normal soon.
If you really must pick her up for any reason then, if you have been handling the other cat, I would suggest washing your hands first and (this is what we do at our animal welfare centre when we have cats who dont like other cats) keep a dressing gown handy which you can pop on over your clothes so that you don't smell so much of the male cat.
I would also suggest getting some Feliway Artificial Pheromone Diffusers which you should plug in around your house as these will calm and reassure all the cats.
Good luck.
Animal welfare volunteer working with feline behaviourist. Owner of 6 cats.
My persian cat would hide, and run away from us.
but she was 12 and i guess cats hide when they know there dieing.
Cause all 3 of my cats died like that, hiding.
but she was 12 and i guess cats hide when they know there dieing.
Cause all 3 of my cats died like that, hiding.